The Gift of Thoughtful Planning

By Reid Abedeen

February is the month of love. But what is love?

There are so many forms of love — romantic love, parental love, love for pets, and love for friends.

As a verb, love means to feel strong affection for, to like or desire an activity, or to thrive in. We might say we love food, music, hiking, stamp collecting, golf, or our book club.

But as a noun, it means a strong affection for another. That can mean warm attachment, enthusiasm, devotion, or admiration. When it comes to family love, I see it as an unselfish, loyal concern for another family member’s well-being. That can be a spouse, child, parent, or in-law.

“The most important thing in the world is family and love.” – UCLA Basketball Coach John Wooden

This is a story of mother-in-law love. My wife Smyrna and I started dating back in 1994, which means we’ve been a part of each other’s lives for more than 30 years now. In that time, we’ve built a life together—raising three remarkable kids: our daughter, Leena (23), and our sons, Yusef (26) and Adam (21).

Smyrna has always been the steady center of our family. One memory always stands out when I think about how deeply I love her.

My mom was a force of nature—strong, healthy, and a regular at the gym. Then, one day, what we thought were minor strokes changed everything. She came to stay with us while she recovered. Smyrna took her in without hesitation and cared for her like she was her own mother. My mom was most at ease in our home because of Smyrna made her feel safe, seen, and loved.

Sadly, my mom soon passed away. Near the end, my mom took Smyrna’s hand and told her she was like a daughter to her. That moment—it touched something deep inside me. It also taught me a lesson about family love.

“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” — Catholic Saint Mother Teresa

The Beatles once famously sang, “All you need is love.”  I must disagree. When it comes to family, I cannot overstate the importance of having an estate plan in place.

A core belief at Safeguard is that there are no one-size-fits-all financial plans, and the same holds true for estate plans. Most people know they need a plan in case the unexpected happens; however, they may be unaware of what is involved in the estate planning process.

Estate planning is laying out in writing what you want to happen to your assets after you die. It also documents who you want to make key medical and financial decisions for during your lifetime if you can’t make them yourself. You don’t need an elaborate trust like the heirs of John D. Rockefeller of Standard Oil or Walmart founder Sam Walton.

“Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” — Actor David Ogden Stiers

Creating a formal plan and making sure it’s enforceable with legally valid documents means that you get to choose what happens to your assets and your end-of-life healthcare.

Here’s what will happen after you die with just a will. The executor of your estate will submit your will to the court. Your estate will go through probate if your assets exceed a certain threshold (which varies by state).

Probate is a court-supervised process of confirming a will’s validity, repaying the deceased’s creditors, paying the deceased’s taxes, and distributing the remaining assets to heirs as specified.

“A family is a risky venture, because the greater the love, the greater the loss… That’s the trade-off. But I’ll take it all.” — Actor Brad Pitt

You can avoid probate by setting up a living trust.  If you have minor children, you will still need a will to name their guardians. You will also need a will to distribute assets not held in trust, such as personal possessions.

Placing assets in a trust lets you name someone, your successor trustee, to manage your assets while you are still alive if you cannot. You cannot accomplish this with a will.

The process is designed to be quick, inexpensive, and private, though there may still be accountant and attorney fees to settle the estate, and it may still take a few months.

 “Family is the most important thing in the world.” — Princess Diana of the British Royal Family

Many people feel their family’s situation is unique. But I can guarantee they won’t bring up an issue that an experienced estate planning attorney hasn’t seen before. The attorney is also there to advise the surviving family members.

“Typically, on the passing of the first spouse, there’s a trust administration that happens, and usually the trustee, the surviving spouse will sit down and with an attorney and go through the documents to figure out what they need to do,” says Joseph Hudack, an estate planning attorney we often refer clients to.

Obtaining advice about these decisions from an experienced estate planning attorney is crucial when making these types of decisions. It is always better to know your options and then decide what you want to do, as opposed to waiting for something to occur and then finding out too late.

(For a deep dive into the intricacies of estate planning, I recommend you check out this YouTube interview that our Rick Rivera did with Mr. Hudack.)

Estate planning is an investment of time and resources. Remember, you don’t do estate planning for you; you do it for your loved ones.

Love is ensuring that those family members you leave behind are looked after.